Mynroe: 2016 Rewind
"Lifestyle Edition"
*Insight to Self-Discovery and Personal Growth*
"Knowing others is wisdom, knowing ones self is enlightment."
-Lao Tzu
2016--a year that kept the world both in extreme anticipation and heightened agitation. Both the news and social media had done a hell of job at keeping the mass population up with the Joneses and stealthily retaining the agile mind distracted with the many displays of irrelevant, senseless and/or disturbing behavior of humanity.
I am guilty not only by taking part in such circus show but irresponsibly distracted I had been by VOLUNTARILY giving energy, time and emotion to it all; which could have been invested in better and productive venues. Instead I found a lot of my line of thought to be occupied and fueled by both unwarranted judgement and biased self-righteousness.
Despite all the historical and talented legends we've lost, expectations that have been altered and a reality that has been hard to swallow at times--I end this year with more hope and faith than ever before.
Ironic? I believe not, just a very long and tedious journey of finding and fighting for my personal intent and right to shape my own perception as I see fit.
"With clear comprehension, we know the purpose and appropriateness of what we're doing; we understand the motivations behind our actions."
-Joseph Goldstein:"Mindfulness"
Among my many late nights or bored hours of daylight, I'm not sure--this year has been moments of blurred lines; I came across a clip of the adorable and hilarious Charlie Day giving a commencement speech to the 2016 Merrimack College graduating. His speech was not only true to his witty and comedic charm but true to his humble and down to earth unfiltered advice which he delivered with such intent and authenticity.
"I'm sure you've heard time and time again to 'Do what makes you happy' and I'm here to tell you that's bullshit. You are not going to wake up everyday happy. You're going to have to do things that you don't want to do but it's not about what makes you happy; it's about doing what makes you great!"
*Not verbatim but the gist of his speech*
I salute and admire anyone who goes against the grain and breaks tradition for the sake of speaking the truth. Seeing him in his formal higher education attire and seeing that tassel of his swing with each blunt point made, engrossed me even more into his speech.
That quote: "Do what makes you great" turned on one of the many light-bulbs in my head and instantaneously lifted so much pressure off my chest that I was unconsciously holding.
"Doing what makes you happy" has always been the goal preached to those wanting to more in life but no one seems to acknowledge the disclaimer that attempting such is a paradox.
Whose life has been all peaches, cream, rainbows and skittles? So what distress I found myself in when I would wake up and find myself so unhappy and unfulfilled! What shame! What guilt! What confusion!
That light bulb shed light on the writing on the wall--happiness is not only a choice but also a journey and at times a war. Happiness isn't always pretty, it isn't always clear and it for damn sure is not easy to come by. But greatness, greatness allows capacity for growth, it allows room for error and it forgives mistakes and it honors failure--acknowledging the intent and the will of trying.
"I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was."
-Muhammad Ali
If there is one thing that I can testify to is the fight that was asked of me and within me. My health had taken many unexpected turns last year *
that had me forced me to face the reality that having great dreams and aspirations does not make one immortal. I remember one of the many times of laying in a hospital bed with IV's in my arm, bruises from needles drawing countless amounts of blood; becoming somewhat numb to the health problem at hand.
I was physically, emotionally and spiritually exhausted. I didn't know what else could possibly be asked of me but simply having the will to survive.
Survive this day to make it to the next.
I had many days and weeks of being alone with just me and my thoughts, because my body was not in sync, it was doing it's own thing--that took weeks to figure out exactly what. So while in the "Waiting Place" I asked myself:
"Did I do enough? Did I leave something behind for them to remember? I feel that I haven't gotten where I want to be. I haven't done all that I want. There's so much left to do! "
Tears began to fill my eyes and gratitude flushed my face as I filtered throughout all the selfish and superficial definitions of success and instead saw the prosperity in the simple truths. That even if I didn't get to reach where I wanted, I had been living my life in the best way I knew to continue toward it.
That, I did.
"Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat.
“–so long as I get SOMEWHERE,” Alice added as an explanation.
“Oh, you’re sure to do that,” said the Cat, “if you only walk long enough.”
-Alice "Alice's Adventures In Wonderland"
I acknowledged the determination, the authentic ambition that had been sowed and cultivated over the years. I saw the growth and evolution of a concrete rose and the unwavering intent of continuing about the journey.
The journey is where the truth and story resides, not the destination. The journey is where you meet the obstacles, the surprises, the blessings, the falls and the strength that you never knew existed. You see the connection of dots of how all of the things that you meet along the way--people, places, chance encounters, phrases; in my case even a song at a certain time.
"Curiouser and curiouser!”
-Alice "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
Intrigue becomes a companion and the capacity of a more deeper and divergent perception becomes greater--if welcomed.
In the "Ring The Alarm" year of 2016, after years of passive-aggressively disregarding
I not only permitted but instructed myself to mature; to accept painful truths in order to process and move on. I opened the door to forgiveness--for others but mostly for myself, because one can not know greatness if one does not know failure.
And the truth is failure is inevitable on the journey to that grand destination, wherever it may be.
"You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don't try to forget the mistakes, but you don't dwell on it. You don't let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space."
-Johnny Cash
In conclusion, 2016 had been a thorn from a blooming rose bush that lounged in my side. I've shed both blood and tears. I have sweated in efforts to continue despite the "thorn" because I knew that at the end there was a lesson (more than a couple); a personal and exclusive lesson was being extended to me to either take on or dwell in it's complexity. I choose to cultivate around and with the thorny bush--I have the scars that I proudly wear.
2017 will be a year of seeing this once annoying and at times seemingly unfair inconvenience, bloom into a colorful masterpiece that will not only be original but will surpass all expectations.
I intent on it!
"No one succeeds without effort...Those who succeed owe their success to perseverance."
-Ramana Maharshi
-BMynroe(RaChelle-Denise)
